A Few Tears...

5 Days Post-Surgery
Mood: Sore
Weight Loss Status: 12 lbs


For the past two days, I've run into crying spells. There have been a few identity crises, and it's unbelievably strange how different I feel post-surgery. Sometimes I don't feel like myself. These moments don't last long, but I look myself in the mirror and don't recognize myself. It's not the weight loss, but more of the life changes. Food is still a huge focus in my life, but I like how I'm the one controlling it, instead of the other way around. Focusing on protein consumption and vitamins instead of calories is something new to me, but I've been good and have recorded all of my meals, glasses of water, and vitamins daily. It's a strange routine to get into, but it helps me to make sure that I'm not killing my body.

I've started collecting recipes online and am planning to create a database of meals that I can eat at restaurants... I'm not going to lie, I can't wait for the first time I can go to a restaurant with Michael and eat "real food." Granted, I won't be having my favorite foods, but it's time to find some new favorites. At this phase, eating pureed goop and liquids is discouraging and frankly uninspiring, so I'm just looking forward to progressing to soft foods next week.
Incisions are sore but are healing nicely. Each has a purple bruise surrounding it, but they will heal in time and the scars will eventually fade.

Tomorrow, my goal is to start back on my "normal" medications (before surgery). They've been pushed to the back burner, but it's it's important to keep my mental health in check.